Tuesday, 17 October 2017

only an epistle to you

Dear Zala:

The moment of today will be past of tomorrow, though.
There are so many things i want to share you but there is no time to get through it all,i could spend the rest of the months telling you how much you would mean to me and i still wouldn't be able to get through it.
To be honest,i didnt know what loving someone truly meant until i came across you,albeit that days would be already into the memories.Moreover,i am extremely mesmerized regarding the forces of the universe that pushed us together. You always tell me that everything happens for a reason, and maybe our reason isn’t concrete yet, but I believe you were placed into my life so I could understand what it meant truly to give my whole self to someone else. You are my heart and soul indeed a reason for smiling.

But the Distance is the hardest thing to wait patiently and keeps playing tricks, but at the back of mind it says everything happens for a reason,just the way you say me every time whatever that happens.I guess the reason for these 425 kilometers between us is to let us grow stronger. But knowing that you are busy makes me feel a little more pity on you cuz life aint a bed of roses,just for the sake of our livings,you had to spare 24 hours to busy schedule missing all the special meal timings yet Some days are worse than others, though. You’re busy with work and games and friends, and you’re filling your days so that the time passes by quickly, while I lay on the bed waiting in dilemma wether to text you,call you and disturb you. Maybe it’s just my paranoia that you’ll forget about me or maybe it’s the harsh reality that I can’t just digest it, this distance is seriously soul crushing.

To be honest,at this time and at this instant,All I want to do is pick up the phone and tell you all of my troubles and listen to your reassurance that everything is going to be perfectly perfect in the end,but sometimes all this philosophies doesn't work on me. I haven’t seen your face clearly since a week. You can’t imagine how much I truly miss you, and I can never put the right words together to tell you how much you mean to me.I miss you no matter the hour , whether it’s 1 p.m and whether I’m busy, or it’s 1 a.m. or whether i am with my friends,tshering and choda. I can’t imagine life without you by my side, and, frankly, I don’t want to either.You have become a part of who I am and I want us to live in the same city, go on dinner dates in twinning pyjamas or on walk with dog or The evening walks,may seems to be real fantasy but  i really want to go for this events at least once a month because I want to make more memories with you and grow old in grey hair till the breath ceases to breathe,cux forever cant be predicted and i can not demand forever living yet you wouldn't demand either.
I demand no expensive gifts, no over romantic candlelight dates. I expect a simple text from you,a voice note would be fine for me,I am head over heels in love with you which would be last and first but i wont promise you indeed as i know you won't believe in such promising future who would be prolly be shoemaker.
 You have been my best friend and will be my partner in anything hereafter, and I am forever grateful where i didnt really think to i would fall for you and never did i expect myself being so weak when it comes to falling for you.This might sound straight out of an exhilarated teenagers head but i am saying the truth here.
Call me when you are free.
Untill then...
Yours,
The awaiting love


Monday, 11 September 2017

life story

Pins and needles ran up the back of her neck and a lump in her throat threatenned to chokle her.panic and fear took over.from the usual time of scoldings and threatening sounds,the house was quiet from normal norms.she was alone though.she ran to the bathroom where she collapsed to her knees before reaching the door of the toilet.

Tsheten was gone and he would never be back.it was the reality.she would never share a secret joke across the dinner table party, never cry to him when she got home from a hard day at work and just needed a warm hug,she would never share a bed with him again, never be woken by his fits of sneezes each morning, never laugh with him so much as if her lungs would throw up,never fight for with for whose turn it was to get up and turn the bedroom light off.
All that was left was a bundle of memories,and an image of his face bearing a cute dimple on smily face that became more and more vague each day.

Their plan had been very simple:to stay together for the rest of their lives.A plan that anyone within the society would agree and would be kinda accomplishable.they were bestfriends,lovers and soulmates,where would say destined to be together.But as it happened,one day destiny greedily changed its mind.the end had come all  too soon.

After complain if a migraine for a few days,karma had agreed to visit thimphu general hospital for her check up just to get vasograin medicine.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Is it necessary to be in relation?

You don’t have to be in a relationship. 
 
But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. 
 
I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you?
 
It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. 
 
The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.
 
Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Nonetheless vagabond

we couldnot find a place to live and we were six days removed from  being homeless for the last month of july,we were led to believe that finding a place to live in cyprus would be easy but it was  for lack of word to describe it,terribly hard if you are finding rent for few days,luckily we got one,thanks to Dr.Singay lhendrup,not until then did he help us to find one room to rest for another 8 days would be so hot to get out and search for the room under scorching heat of 43 degree celcius,no breeze---hot,so hot that you can not sleep---hot
terribly hot that you need to peel the fabric of clothes off your salty-drenched and sticky body,almost half cooked barbeque at the end of the day,its seriously hot as sun but i am not sure that does it justice

But with the time passes by,things began to settle down
i can honestly say i have never felt more comfortable with myself before but Cyprus has gave a way  to be more free and relax of who i am,the happiness is palpable here,living on my own,learning more about myself,discovering whats its like to stand on my own,i can feel myself blossoming and thats the most satisfying part of being here..
 i have never failed to make great friendships,i can say that unexpected friendships is the best,and for few i am certain will be for a life,some will be leaving and moving on with their lives but at one time get-go life i shouldnot forget that life is a revolving door,people will always come and go,feelings would change after every secs or hours but i will cherish the limited time i have with the people i am with now,keeping in mind that everyone has their own way to follow,at some point i have to accept the facts that some people in my life will be marathoners and sprinters
this seems to be only the great reel of my experience of friendship thing so far,without counting an ample of experiences and knowledge learned under professionalised professors,its gone nothing like how i expected it would,since its only been nine months eight days and as the days come to a close to be back home,it feels more like a beginning than an end

An idea of going back home leaving the joyful experiences of erasmus life would be real heal hard,and at the moment go i would definitely struggle to accept the facts but at one time i think i will and would miss the life i have spent here for the last nine months 12 days here in cyprus.i think there will be pull to return to this place some years old from the day of now.

It was indeed their warmth,their helpful hands,which crept into my being like theft,snatched my heart forever,well,i am very sure,i think i left the whole damn thing here cux there was saying that wherever you travel,provided you have done it right,you leave a part of heart there,


Thursday, 13 July 2017

Can't Even


obsessed with our own private problems, it is easy for us to forget that for at least million and billion years human beings just like us have been on this planet, undoubtedly wrestling with their own issues of happiness and contentment.

 It should be of no surprise that I still remember the words that were going through my mind up: i thought that Ultimately,life is all about the choices,one's destiny unfolds according to the choices one makes and i felt certain that the choices are on certain individual,though  our body is designed to die, our mind seems to be hardwired to think that we are immortal, and there’s little that we can do to resist that kinda feeling where all the individuals has at the back of their mind and thats how we human being are being circuited with.

Monday, 10 July 2017

Seems to be Forever Goodbye

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”                                                                          ~~~Paulo Coelho

i got some secrets forgot to share you  yet the last episodes are over,i choose forgetting.
when i had nothing more to lose,i loose you.
when i was supposed to be there to listen the following words in your mind,i heard half the sentences,
when i expected to hear the word i was suppose to be heard,you ceased from sharing it 
yet i understood that i was free to choose to be deaf.
 The expectations i had from you though all attired with pain and disappointments in me,the blows that hurt me,
the wrecked dreams and the stillborn love and hopes.

Thank you so much for the illusion that has set something nothingness at the end.
The misfortunes of the past,has no weight on my heart,
i will be capable of loving albeit i am loved in return,of giving,
even when i have nothingness which works well,
in the midst of adversities,
regardless of being completely alone and abandoned,
while i weep,believe me even when no one believes me
and yes its never too late to start over.



Monday, 26 June 2017

Ignorance:Social networks

What i observed so far in me!!!
It was right after dinner,i was so much engaged with phone,so much busy,i didn't bother to spare a minute to chat face to face,much busy to check instagram feeds,very much busy with smart phone,i didnt know why i was so busy,when i realised what i was doing,the phone wasnt used for texting,neither a call to anyone nor chat with anyone,but i was so much engrossed to check on what orher people were doing in their social media which actually a waste of million seconds of life.

In this digital age,i felt that everyone has a huge urge to keep up with other people or need to feel flattered through the affirmation of the virtual likes and compliments from other people,no more the age with toothy grin chit chat to be expected at this generation.

only an epistle to you

Dear Zala: The moment of today will be past of tomorrow, though. There are so many things i want to share you but there is no time t...